Lazy Wife Syndrome

“So what did YOU do today?” How many times do we spend a day that doesn’t seem to end, only to have our significant other come home to ask what we did…and have nothing to tell them?

Being Friday, I had an exhausting day with the kids. My three dayhome kids arrived at their respective times and after a little early-morning TV watching, they abandoned the TV in favor of the toys. One of them dumped the LEGO blocks on the floor while my own daughters started to play with the wooden beads. Infants One and Two were crawling around…one of them deciding to munch on some shoes, while the other one preferred shredding up some Kleenex.

I picked up the shredded Kleenex, removed the child from the shoes, asked my daughters to pick up my now-ignored beads while G abandoned his LEGO so he could run around the kitchen and living room. Fearing an instant eviction notice, I went to grab G and settle him down on the couch with the toy train, then chased my girls to pick up the growing monster of a mess in the play-area.

I sat down and tried to work on my blog…that’s when I heard a crash. G had made his way under the table and had accidentally tipped over a very heavy metal chair (Did I mention that it’s the resident-managers who live under us?)

I got G settled down again and tried to figure out where the infants had gone. They were in the hallway, one of them going into the bathroom–eyeing the toilet in earnest. So I shut the door and ran back to the gamut of things to find G and Emily complaining that they’re hungry. So time for lunch.

I made some Kraft Dinner, with all five of them surrounding me like hungry sharks and somehow got the food to the table without being pounced on. The three older ones ate ravenously while I spoon-fed the infants as they fought over who got the next bite of food.

Lunch finally over, H was finally tired for a nap, so I put her down to sleep and tried to conquer the dishes. G comes over to tell me he’s hungry again (he just ate 15 minutes before that)! I hand him a banana and try to remember what I had been doing (oh yeah, the dishes). I continue on the dishes while the toys, once again, start accumulating on the floor; time to clean them up again. To the tune of “clean up”, I start singing the familiar song as I pick up toys and the children join me in picking them up.

My attempt at getting the kids to clean up!

I settle Dawn down for some schoolwork that she has been begging me all morning to do and the other kids want to join in. I explain that I only have one book and that it’s Dawn’s special book, but that they could colour, if they liked…they prefer to play. Kloee’s idea of playing is dumping the books from the bookshelf onto the floor.

I remember that I’m supposed to be doing dishes, so return to that task while I verbally coach them at what they should be picking up and where to put it. Kloee needs a diaper change..so do G and Emily. I put my dishes down to complete the feat. Dumped them in the garbage and realize that my garbages are full. I throw the trash on the balcony (for hubby to take out later) and go back to the dishes.

Finally the dishes are done and I find more shredded paper that H bequeathed me before going for her nap. I clean it up and crash on the couch. Looking over at the now realitively toy-free floor, I see lunches remnants under the table. I go get the broom and sweep it up. Put the broom away and remember that I didn’t make the beds. I do the bed in the bedroom, but have to leave the children’s room because H is in there sleeping.

I’m finally able to sit down again and get some semblance of a bit of rest. I pick up the newspaper and remember that I didn’t take out anything for dinner. I rummage through my freezer and can’t find anything that hubby would be willing to eat, o I make a mental note to go get a barbequed chicken for dinner.

By then, the kids are all thirsty and asking for a snack. I get the cups out and make up a pitcher of kool-aid. I find some aples, slice them up and the kids eat their snack while once again, I try to catch up with the new mountain of email. Dawn drops her drink, so I evacuate the kitchen for a mop-cleanup.

They day continues pretty much in the same way until the children are picked up and my husband returns home. Glancing at the few toys on the floor and the unvacuumed carpet, he looks at me as I sit in front of my PC and rest and angrily says “look at this place, it’s a mess! what did you do today!?!?” I shrug and he walks away muttering something about a “lazy wife.”

EDIT: If you enjoyed this article, I now have a blog titled  ”Personal Development for Lazy People” which I invite you to join.