Practical Homeschooling » parenting

I Walk By Kids, They Run Away (Repost)

Laura — Tue, 24 May 2011 02:55:44 +0000

Face it, as a society, we are becoming increasingly paranoid for the safety of our children and loved ones. Despite evidence that crime rates are on the decline, the Internet and the news have managed to convince us that the opposite is true.

On her blog, Free Range Kids, Lenore posted a letter sent to her from a retired pediatrician about how children are warned to run away even from their longtime neighbors.

Here’s a note from a doctor, Par Donahue. He’s author of thebook and blog, Messengers in Denim, all about the things we can learn from teens (and life). Here’s one lesson he got from kids that he did not like. (Nor I.) — L

Dear Free-Range Kids: I am a retired pediatrician who walks my dog twice daily in our neighborhood and enjoys talking to kids — after all, that’s what I did for almost 40 years. But, now I feel like bogeyman.

When kids are outside, they see me coming and run into the house. If they are waiting for the bus, they stare at the ground or cross the street when I approach. If I say good morning, or, “Have a nice day,” they either do not respond or they grunt without looking up!

Some years ago my wife and I moved into a new neighborhood where a family with two small kids lived next to us. They were usually in the fenced back yard when we came home from work and would always run into the house as we walked from our garage to the house. After 6-8 months of this the younger boy, 4 or 5 years old, stayed out and actually said, “Hi.” His older brother, 6 or 7, quickly grabbed his arm and said, “Don’t talk to them, they might be kid-nappers.”

What a terrifying life parents make for their kids when they teach them to be this afraid. With very rare exceptions, kidnapping is done by estranged parents or other relatives. We, of course, hear about the half dozen kids in the USA who are kidnapped each year by strangers. Fear, as Michael Crichton said in “State fo Fear” controls! So sad! — Par Donahue

If you appreciate the sentiments expressed in this letter, I HIGHLY suggest that you subscribe to her blog so that you can meet about the triumphs and trials of raising children today. While you’re at it, subscribe to Practical Homeschooling so that you can receive automatic updates via your inbox or favorite RSS feed.

Being With Your Children

Laura — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 12:12:25 +0000

One of the wonderful aspects of homeschooling is the chance to spend quality time with your children on a daily basis.

School is a huge time-waster. Statistics show that of the six/seven hours spend in school, only 90 minutes are actually used up in active learning. The remainder of the time is used up with lunch, recess, shifting between classes, classroom discipline, or just plain busywork and waiting for other classmates to finish assignments so the teacher can move on to the next topic.

Once a child gets home, they have homework to contend with, then more often than not, they also have other activities such as Scouts or sports to attend.

All this doesn’t leave much time for families to be together… Not only are children essentially raised apart from their families, siblings are also raised apart in seperate classrooms and peer groups.

Homeschooling is the ultimate chance for families to return to core values where they (the families) are the centre of society–not the schools. Parents need to nurture their children, not thrust them into a ‘tough love’ lifestyle before they have yet to grow up.

It’s not enough to merely be in the same room with them. We need to engage them, learn with them and grow with them. We are their role models and as such, need to provide a positive example for them to follow.

I am not guilt-free in this assumption. Many times, I was layed up in bed when ill or busy one one project or another, thus leaving my children to figure out what to do for themselves. They do benefit from this, but not nearly as much as if I were there beside them.

I feel bad for doing this to them because I can see the type of negative behaviour this can beset. They start arguing more and become restless. They begin detesting each other’s presence and one will start screaming for the other to get away. They jump around and run–there is nothing wrong with that, but we are in a condo with very irritable neighbours below us.

When I make the effort to really BE with them, they are calm, they are pleasant, and they want to do things with their mother. Sandra Dodd, a well-known unschooler, once designed a chart that illustrated how much time we should spend with our children according to their actual age.

It’s about

the quality,

not

the quantity.

How to give your children more special attention

Spend one on one time with each child individually. While it’s wonderful to be with your children as a group, each child needs time with mom and dad. Siblings can harbour resentment, or want to talk about subjects they are concerned about where they may otherwise feel like they can’t speak up.
Don’t be afraid to interact. Get down to their level and play along with them.
Cuddle! Sometimes a child wants nothing more than to be held tightly in a loved one’s arms.
Don’t forget that they’re children! Acting up negatively is often a sign of frustration and a request for help.

How much time do you spend WITH your children? How can you improve the quality of time you spend with them?

Labelling Our Children

Laura — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 12:00:25 +0000

We all do it. We see a hyper six-year-old boy who refuses to sit down quietly and decide that he MUST have ADHD. If your 12-year-old daughter is quiet, introverted and prefers being by herself rather than spending time with friends, she must be depressed.

Why must we jump the proverbial gun and assume that any time a child behaves outside what we consider normal for our society that there is a problem that must be immediately addressed? Children are still trying to find themselves. They will go through all array of behaviors and feelings as they grow up and become adults.

While there are cases where a child should justifiably be diagnosed with a mental condition, we shouldn’t hurry to label them before it presents as a justifiable problem.

I see many children being diagnosed as having ADHD. When I meet them they seem like healthy active boys. Of course they’re hyper, they’re children! They have energy to burn and nowhere to burn it. If you give them the tools that they need, in the environment that they need, you’ll find that the drive and even move beyond expectations for any child that age.

This is where homeschooling is a big advantage. More often than not, children who spend most of their time in a home environment have more flexibility to play and dispense extra energy. Children are allowed to feel happy, sad, angry or confused without someone questioning whether they are ‘normal’ or not.

I found this video moving its way through YouTube and it does a great job of expressing what I feel about this. (For those of you reading this to a feed, please click through to the site to access the video.) Again, let me say that I do strongly believe that these are legitimate medical conditions. I just happen to think that doctors need to take a closer look at the child’s environment before deciding the problem is from the child.

New Year’s Resolutions, Anyone?

Laura — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 12:00:13 +0000

It’s the beginning of another wonderful year. I look forward to it, and all the activities and discoveries that it may bring. I want tobecome a better mother, a better teacher, a better person. What about you? Do you have New Year’s resolutions?

Last year, I made a point of not having any New Year’s resolutions. It was simple. I was tired of resolving to do things that, in the end, does it change. I took the time of reflection to try to figure out what did work in my life and how I was able to accomplish it.

I learned that instead of setting set goals, I was better at taking direction towards these goals. It was setting the little steps towards my goals that enabled me to achieve the ultimate goal. What about you? Are you able to keep your New Year’s resolutions? What are they?

This year I resolve to spend more one-on-one time with each of my daughters. I want each one of them to have time by themselves, with me, following some of their favorite pursuits. I also resolved to bring you better quality content, so that you too, can improve your own homeschooling journeys with your children.

May you all have a happy New Year!

Some Interesting John Taylor Gatto Clips

Laura — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 18:21:45 +0000

As I already mentioned in The Underground History Of American Education posted last week, I have a lot of admiration for John Gatto. He takes the so-called modern education by the thorns and wrestles it to the ground.

What does this have to with homeschooling? Several things, as a matter of fact.

First of all, if you’re homeschooling, there is a good chance that you have issues with the school system. Whether you dislike the teacher’s training, the high class numbers, bullying or students being forced to learn according to the lowest common denominator, you feel that being home is a better place for your children.

Secondly, formal education does not equal success. How did humanity function all these thousands of years without formal education? People learned the practical way, by watching and trying. I personally learned a lot more working with medical missionaries for a year in Ecuador than I ever did in school.

Third, whether people think about this or not, we (as parents) are our children’s first teachers. It’s instinct. Who teaches them to hold a bottle? A spoon? Who shows them to use a bathroom and recite the alphabet? Teaching comes naturally. No need to obtain a 4-year degreeto do something we are neurologically wired to do.

(Email readers, please click through to the site by clicking on the title above to view the videos.)

Schooling Is Not Education – Part 1

Schooling Is Not Education – Part 2

Why Does The Government Really Insist Our Children Be Sent To Schools?

Breaking Out Of Dependent Thinking

State Controlled Consciousness

If you’d like to see even more clips, please read my other post, Insightful Interviews With John Gatto.